Rules, rules, rules!
We all have them.
We all need them.
Rules keep us from doing a lot of things that we shouldn’t do.
But they can also keep us from doing a lot of things that we should do as well.
And the truth is: Most of the personal rules we’ve adopted don’t really serve us. In fact, many of our rules make our lives incredibly hard and unnecessarily difficult.
What are personal rules?
They are simply beliefs we’ve adopted at a certain stage of our life—often unconsciously—about what has to happen to make us feel a certain way. They run our life, and we often are not even aware that they exist!
Most often, we set up personal rules to tell ourselves when our values are being met.
If one of our values is being happy and fulfilled, how do we decide what has to happen in order to feel happy and fulfilled? Our rules.
If it is important for us to feel loved and appreciated, what really determines when we give ourselves permission to feel loved and appreciated?
Bottom line, rules rule our lives until we decide to take charge.
To discover your present rules about any area of life, ask yourself:
What has to happen in order for me to feel loved?
What has to happen in order for me to feel confident?
What has to happen in order for me to feel successful?
What has to happen in order for me to feel happy?
What has to happen in order for me to feel _______?
See how hard you’ve been making your life?
If you have been making it hard for yourself, then consider changing or upgrading your rules.
Here’s how to get started:
1. Identify a rule that you use to make your life hard.
For example, if your answer to what makes you feel successful is:”Having a 10,000-square-foot house and a million dollars in the bank,” you’ve been setting yourself up for frustration.
2. Come up with a new rule that makes it easier for you to feel empowered, and to take the daily action needed to advance your goals.
For example, you could change the rule in the example above to be: “I feel successful any time I take action on any of my goals.” Or, “I feel successful every time I appreciate what I have been given in my life.”